14th February 2019

On 11th February, we crossed the International Date Line, and in a flash, the 12th disappeared, instantly replaced by the 13th. Tough luck for anyone with a birthday or special occasion that day, I thought. However, we did celebrate Valentine’s Day as recompense the following day. All activities and meals had some theme of love woven into them, though there were few outward displays of romance among our fellow passengers. I did, however, notice a few men briefly eyeing the heart-shaped boxes of chocolates for sale in the shops before hurrying on to whatever diversion was more pressing.

A particular highlight was a production of Phantom of the Opera, absolutely fabulous! Though condensed into just an hour, it remained true to the plot, with unbelievable vocals and brilliant acting. Unsurprisingly, the cast received a standing ovation, and the memory of that performance will stay with me for a long time.

Life on Board a Ship

At the start of this cruise, I decided not to document every little detail of life on board; after all, the destinations provide real experiences worth recording. These blog pages were created primarily to keep the family informed and serve as a diary of the Palmers’ travels, to be read in our dotage when memories grow dim and we become even more sedentary. However, with so many sea days behind us and plenty more to come, I may as well fill some spare time with a description of life aboard our Columbus.

In a confined environment, where a large group of people are in close proximity, it is inevitable that bugs will spread, despite the crew’s best efforts. They constantly squirt antibacterial gel onto outstretched hands, gel dispensers are stationed everywhere, and we receive constant reminders to wash our hands. All surfaces and handrails are regularly wiped down with strong, pungent chemicals. Yet, if even a handful of passengers fail to play their part, infection is bound to spread. The ship has developed what has been termed the ‘Columbus Cough’. Since this is a world cruise, any bug has a greater opportunity to take hold, unlike shorter cruises of seven or fourteen days, where passengers disembark before a virus can truly establish itself. At every port, we spend a few dollars and, unintentionally, act as generous hosts, allowing our bugs to jump ship and wreak havoc on unsuspecting locals. One could argue that the first Spanish ‘cruise galleon’, captained by Cortez, did much the same when European diseases decimated the Mayans!

Everywhere on board, you hear the detonations of sneezes, the hacking of coughs, and the rasping of noses into tissues (if lucky). Very few have been spared the ‘Columbus Cough’. Sue and I are just getting over our second bout of irritating runny noses and tickly throats. We’ve got off lightly, but others have not been so fortunate. As with germs, rumours spread rapidly, and, much like a game of ‘Chinese Whispers’, it’s impossible to verify what we hear. The ship’s hospital is full; we know this from people who have spent a few days there recovering. Depending on who you believe, either 11, 8, 5, or no one at all has died as a result. My guess is none, as we haven’t seen any ambulances waiting at the ports we’ve visited, and the last recorded case of cannibalism in the Polynesian islands was in 1916!

Life on Deck

With the majority of passengers over 50, the ship’s daily deck and poolside activities are tailored to their tastes and experiences. Many of the TV game shows of the ’60s and ’70s are re-enacted, Blankety Blank, Mr & Mrs, Call My Bluff, Family Fortunes, you name it. But by far the most popular (and least active) pastime is the series of quizzes held at various locations around the ship, morning, afternoon, evening, and night. They are always well-attended and fiercely contested. I can’t imagine a shipload of 18-30-year-olds placing this high on their agenda!

Sue and I prefer to play as a pair, but most participate in teams of six to twelve. We treat it as an important brain stimulant, aiming to improve on our previous scores. It is widely known (and discussed) that one particular team of eleven fills in their answer sheets, and when the answers are read out, if any one of them has the correct response, it is written onto the final team sheet. Technically, it’s team play, but I can’t say it feels entirely in the spirit of a fair quiz. Not surprisingly, they win quite often.

More Active Pursuits

For those with a bit more energy, there are several groups offering entertainment. The ship’s choir has been meeting for daily practice since the start of the cruise and recently performed the songs they had learned. Similarly, an amateur dramatics group put on a production of Snow White, as amateurish as you could possibly imagine, but all the funnier for it. Another notable group is the large ukulele ensemble, which also performed for the other passengers. They were surprisingly good. There’s something novel about seeing a herd of (I have no idea what the collective noun would be!) passengers strumming tiny guitars and singing cowboy songs and sea shanties. They do a marvellous job.

As always, there is a large bridge-playing group that meets daily in the dedicated games room. On occasion, Sue and I have joined them when it is too hot to play our games of Scrabble on the deck. Bridge is not a game we are inclined to learn, as the players never seem to be enjoying themselves and often make quite scathing remarks about those who don’t play to their standards.

In addition to a well-stocked library, there is also a popular jigsaw room, where half a dozen puzzles are in progress at any given time, available for anyone to contribute to.

It has become our habit to play a game of shuffleboard on Deck Seven in the late afternoon until the heat and humidity become too much for us. Sue is often seen playing a variety of other games involving throwing or sliding objects onto or into various pieces of equipment, alongside what appears to be a dedicated group of fellow players.

Of course, I could attempt to categorise the passengers into groups: those who spend all day sunbathing, reading, engaging in activities, sitting and chatting over drinks, or continually eating. However, apart from the sunbathers, most seem to dip in and sample all the delights on offer.

Films are shown during the day below decks in the Palladium, and at night under the stars on the top deck on a huge screen, sea conditions permitting. There is also a casino, though I gather it isn’t heavily used by the current passengers; it may see more activity when we pick up additional travellers in Australia and New Zealand. The ship also has a disco, which remains lively into the early hours. Judging by the bleary-eyed expressions of some fellow guests at breakfast, it is well attended.

The crew hail from all corners of the globe, though certain roles seem to follow a pattern. Like many, our cabin steward is from Kerala in India, and along with colleagues from the Philippines, they seem to dominate this particular role on board. Our table waiter is from Myanmar, as are fifteen others, which was a surprise. The majority of the dining staff are also from the Philippines. Below decks, the engine room and maintenance teams appear to be predominantly Russian and Ukrainian (not quite sure how that mix works!), while many Eastern Europeans work in the service sector, covering the shops, spa, and reception. The chefs are mostly Indian, and the captain is Greek. The entertainment team and lecturers are largely British, though they don’t seem to be represented in any other department.

On Valentine’s Day, we enjoyed a special romantic meal in the restaurant and afterwards had our photograph taken within a giant heart made of balloons. It has been quite some time since Sue and I last made the effort to celebrate this day; we have never felt the need to publicly demonstrate our love for one another; three decades together speak for themselves.