1st February 2016

When we woke this morning at 6:45 am, we were already docked in Noumea, New Caledonia. This large Pacific island, measuring 1,000km by 240km, is a French territory. We could feel the ship docking, but it did so with remarkable quietness as it crept into port.

After showering, we went for breakfast and returned to our cabin to sort out the paperwork and gear for our shore adventure.

We had booked a countryside tour online, rather than through the ship, and needed to be at the Cruise Terminal by 10 am to catch the bus. We disembarked at 8 am and, after a short complimentary shuttle ride from the ship to the terminal, quickly located the local ticket office and our bus stop.

With time to spare, we took a stroll into the city (more of a large town, really). I found some free Wi-Fi and had a chat with Charlotte on Skype before we browsed a few shops. It was tricky to gauge prices since they were listed in New Caledonian Francs, which we didn’t have. Although they accepted US dollars (which we did have) but nothing particularly caught our eye.

After a brief wait at our bus stop, we boarded the bus along with many other cruise passengers. Thankfully, it was air-conditioned, as the temperature was already well into the 30s, and it was still early in the day!

Our journey began with a drive through the town, followed by a scenic route along the coast, passing several beautiful beaches. One of the most famous on the island is located in Lemon Bay. We then wound our way into the hills, eventually reaching the summit of a local peak that offered stunning views over the town and bay, a perfect spot for taking photos.

Our next stop was the cultural village, where we had another opportunity to take photos. This time, we explored the grounds and the complex of buildings while listening to our guide, who shared fascinating insights into the island’s history and the development of its people. Cannibalism, we learned, played a significant role in their past and persisted until just a few decades ago.

The structures and buildings were particularly striking, as was the traditional attire worn by the island’s inhabitants before French missionaries introduced European clothing. The contrast between their original customs and the influence of colonialism was both fascinating and thought-provoking.

The island was initially discovered and claimed by the British, who promptly set about their usual business of trying to convert the locals to Christianity. They dispatched a steady stream of missionaries, who were, in turn, promptly dispatched by the islanders, straight into the cooking pot. Deciding the island lacked any worthwhile natural resources, the British happily offloaded it to the French in a deal involving Canada. Ironically, this “useless” island now supplies a significant portion of the world’s tungsten. Classic British foresight, really.

I sensed an undercurrent of bitterness towards the French, stemming from their unfulfilled promise of independence in the 1980s. True to form, the French have yet to act on it. “Never trust a Frenchman’s word” seems to be a motto worth keeping in mind!

Our next stop was a brief visit to the oldest Christian church on the island, which, unsurprisingly, was Catholic. The church was quite charming, with some lovely wall paintings. Inside, the priest, dressed in white, sat in the front pew, deeply engrossed in his reading.

Given the heat, many of our fellow passengers opted to stay on the bus. Judging by the priest’s focused demeanour, it seemed he had grown weary of the constant stream of tourists and sought refuge in his book.

Upon returning to the terminal, Sue took the shuttle bus back to the ship, while I decided to have another wander around town. However, the heat soon got the better of me, and with my foot starting to ache, I also headed back to the ship. We met up in the Windjammer restaurant for lunch.

Later, Sue had a nap in the cabin while I made my way to the ‘Pig and Whistle’ pub to start a new book. When Sue woke, we watched the ship depart from the port before getting ready for the informal evening meal. The highlight of dinner was the waiters enthusiastically singing to the passengers in Italian. Amusingly, despite representing 32 different nationalities, not one of them was Italian, but they gave it their all.

The evening’s entertainment in the theatre was a rendition of ‘Mr and Mrs’, a popular game show from the ’80s. It followed the same format but with much more risqué questions. It was great fun, plenty of laughs and a fair bit of second-hand embarrassment!

After a long and eventful day, we were in bed by 11:45 pm.