15th March 2013

Breakfast was a late affair today, largely because Sue proved difficult to rouse. We eventually staggered to the rear restaurant, only to find that most passengers had also opted for a lie-in; plenty of empty tables testified to the universal struggle of getting out of bed after a hard night of scoffing.

Afterwards, we strolled around the deck a couple of times. The view? Nothing but blue sea stretching endlessly in every direction. No dolphins, no pirates, no passing planes, not even a suspicious-looking cloud. After days of this monotony, I’m beginning to suspect we’re lost. Let’s hope the provisions hold out. We heard last night that, because we didn’t take on supplies in Fortaleza, we have only enough mangoes for two more days. Imagine the horror, scurvy by mango shortage!

Our morning entertainment came in the form of a quiz with a group of fellow English passengers. We didn’t win. That honour went to a young blonde woman, which means she must have cheated (Hollywood typecasting rules still apply). I had bones to pick with two of the “correct” answers. First: What four-legged creature cannot jump? They claimed it was an elephant. Rubbish, I’ve seen one hop over a ball in Thailand. By contrast, a tortoise? If you’ve ever seen one accelerate enough to take off, please do let David Attenborough know. Second: What is the most common bird? The official answer was the chicken, which is frankly absurd. I ate three yesterday, surely relegating them from first place. My suggestion of pigeons, supported by solid evidence from my garden, was cruelly dismissed.

From there, Sue and I watched a fruit-and-veg carving exhibition courtesy of the ship’s Filipino chefs. Armed with pineapples, melons, and apples, they produced works of art in minutes, far superior to anything I could manage with a paring knife and a potato.

We settled down to read, but hunger soon gnawed, so we sought out a restaurant to fill the gaping void. In the afternoon, I attempted to read in the library, only to find it commandeered by a film crew. Instead, I tracked down Sue dozing peacefully on Deck 10 and joined her with my book.

Once revived, we headed to Deck 11 for the holy trinity of coffee, panini, and a brisk constitutional around the deck. The sea remained stubbornly empty, flat, and blue. Not even a jellyfish drifted by to break the monotony. Resigned, we retreated to the cabin. Sue watched The Exotic Marigold Hotel, while I buried myself in my book.

Dinner was brightened by our waiter, who treated us to a few magic tricks. They weren’t exactly Vegas-worthy, but we applauded politely and later cast a vote for him at one of the electronic totems around the ship.

The evening show, Ice & Fire, was a triumph. Skaters, acrobats, dancers, singers, lasers, the works, all set to music we actually enjoyed. I should have recorded it, but thankfully, the ship loops all the shows on cabin TV, so we’ll be rewatching it at some point between naps and mango rations.