5th September 2012

Sarah and Charlotte returned from their Parisian adventure, claiming they’d seen everything there was to see. Charlotte, ever resourceful, managed to masquerade as a student with Sarah’s Union Card, meaning they both enjoyed discounted entry to all the sights. They were especially smitten with the Eiffel Tower, and brought me back a sample of Paris’s finest invention: French bread. I’ve long thought the French can be a bit trying at times, but one must give credit where it’s due; they do know their way around a loaf.

Meanwhile, Nan declared herself perfectly content in Harborough and wanted the Thurcroft house sold without delay. With Sarah due for an interview in Sheffield, I drove her up the night before to her new flat on Newington Road. The journey went smoothly until she realised that she had left her keys back in Harborough. Panic ensued, but after a volley of texts and emails, she discovered a housemate was there to rescue her.

Once inside, I fitted a lock on her bedroom door (since the council had removed them all “for safety”, a curious idea). After hanging up a giraffe picture for a touch of home, I returned to Thurcroft and spent the following days painting upstairs rooms. Artexed walls and ceilings made it a job for someone with patience and a good sense of humour, neither of which I had in abundance.

One evening, I ordered a chicken biryani from the local curry house. It was, without exaggeration, the worst curry I’ve ever eaten, and I’ve had some unfortunate ones after playing rugby. However, I woke up bright and breezy the next morning, which proves a theory: the curry was so dreadful it must have killed off any germs in my system. Needless to say, I won’t be going back.

With Sarah’s help, I then spent a cheerful six hours painting rippled walls, fortified by sausage, pie, and chips. Lee turned up during the evening, and I generously offered him a brush. He politely declined and whisked Sarah off to Nando’s instead, hardly the spirit of communal graft! With the Freeview box on strike, I soldiered on with my paint roller.

Charlotte celebrated her 30th birthday, quite the achievement for someone who can still pass as a 19-year-old in France. We marked the occasion at Pizza Express with Tesco vouchers she’d hoarded through the year. Presents, cake, and a round of “Happy Birthday” back at Willow Bank rounded off the evening.

The celebrations continued with Charlotte and Suraj’s 4th wedding anniversary the next day, and Suraj’s birthday the day after that. I played him golf, which came down to the final putt on the last hole. He sank it, I lost, and I don’t wish to discuss it further. Jamie, meanwhile, has a new car, which caused less bruising to my pride but a dent in his wallet.

Before all this festivity, the Rothwells had sneaked away for a mini-break in Skegness. They bravely endured an onshore gale, gritty sand and a chilly sea. Lucas was not impressed.

Suraj has undergone laser eye surgery in Milton Keynes as a birthday gift, meant to sharpen his vision, maybe even his putting. He clearly hasn’t understood that most golfers improve through practice and acquiring a decent handicap instead.

Back at Willow Bank, I’ve been harvesting vegetables by the armful, while Sue has been slicing, pickling, and freezing. We sent bags of produce with Nan to share during her Bingo sessions. So far she has won £12 and a date-and-walnut cake. Not a bad haul for a night’s entertainment!

The crowning moment of the week came on the 4th of September when Sarah passed her driving test in Melton Mowbray. That evening, Sue, Jamie, and I took her out for a celebratory pub meal. Today, the serious business begins: sorting out the insurance, tax, and MOT for her trusty KA. She’s officially on the road. Heaven help us all.

A few weeks ago, we decided it was high time to replace the carpets in the en-suite and the family bathroom. After careful deliberation, we had picked different patterns of linoleum for each room, because why make life easy?

The fitters arrived this week, ripped out the old carpets, laid plywood to create a solid, flat surface, and then installed the new flooring. All seemed well… until we realised the family bathroom had been fitted with the wrong pattern. Cue a flurry of phone calls and a visit to the showroom.

True to their word, the fitters returned today and finally installed the correct pattern. Victory at last, our bathrooms are now stylish, level, and pattern-perfect. And we learned a valuable lesson: always double-check which pattern goes where, unless you enjoy unexpected interior surprises.

In a show of family solidarity, after Sarah’s KA was officially on the road, Jamie acquired a new car. Not to be outdone, Sue and I decided it was high time we joined the automotive arms race and treated ourselves to new vehicles as well. Looks like the driveway is turning into a small motor show!