15th January 2014

After what was my most restful night of the voyage, interrupted only briefly when we seemingly ran over a very large whale that momentarily roused me from sleep, I was surprised to learn that Sue had been tossing and turning most of the night. Stepping onto the balcony, I soon understood why. Before me stretched a scene of surging and crashing waves, which my seasoned sea legs and old sailor’s constitution had managed to sleep through, yarrrrrrr!

We opted for breakfast in the Britannia restaurant, reasoning that letting someone else control the portion sizes might be kinder on my waistline, which has already grown by one notch on the belt. Upon arrival, we were seated at a table for six near the aft window. Our fellow diners were all solo travellers: two Americans, one Anglicised German, and a particularly unremarkable Muggle. From our cabin on Deck 8, the waves had looked impressive, but down here on Deck 2, they were nothing short of mountainous! It was awe-inspiring to watch their power and the swirl of turbulence stirred up by the propellers as we cut through them. Several times, the ship gave a violent lurch, sending items momentarily skidding across the table. Although Sue confessed to feeling a bit queasy, she maintained a stoically British front, finished her meal, talked about anything other than the sea, and then joined me back at the cabin, where she felt much improved.

The first activity of the morning was a walk to the Golden Lion pub and a Trivia Quiz. We had passed the pub many times when these competitions had been on, and they had seemed very popular. Yesterday, we attempted to find a seat to join but were out of luck. Today we arrived early and had a choice of seats. It was a general knowledge quiz, and unfortunately, we were also-rans in the prize stakes. However, when the answers were given out, we realised that sadly, we used to know the correct answers once in the dim and distant past.

We moved onto one of the front lounges to read our books, but after 20 minutes, a lecture on healthy eating titled ‘Eating more to lose weight’ started up. It felt like being back in school, so we moved on.

After a trot down to the other end of the ship, we sat through a lecture on ‘Human Interaction and Dolphins’. It was mildly interesting, with the only fact I could remember being that dolphin meat is black, tastes like beef liver and isn’t good for you as the species is at the top of the food chain and contains quite a lot of mercury. So Erich von Daniken must be correct when he claimed that Dolphins may have come from outer space.

Lunch beckoned, solving our next dilemma. I filled up on the recommended foods from the dietary lecture, but afterwards, not an inch receded from my waist, nor did I feel any lighter. To console myself, I indulged in three large jugs of ice cream, and for that, I did feel better.

In the afternoon, we went to the theatre to watch the film Wolverine. It was absolute rubbish. Sue left 20 minutes before the end, but I, being made of sterner stuff, stayed to see it through. I met her again back in the cabin, where Mr Pillow had been neglected, so I gave him an hour or so of comfort while Sue read.

The dress code for the evening meal was optional, but I opted for a suit, and Sue wore her new dress. Our regular dinner partners were absent, but the couple who had been missing showed up. They were West Ham supporters; he owned a string of garages, and she was a chef. We got on well, and as is often the case, they had been on millions of cruises.

The evening’s entertainment featured a singer from Indiana who had performed a couple of nights earlier. We both enjoyed his selection of songs, and his easy-going manner warmed us to his act. I sat next to a pilot from Indiana who had been chatting with the singer earlier in the day; he was saving a seat for a lady from New York who was going to show him the sights when we docked (oh yes). Sue sat next to a Dutch woman who lived on the Caribbean island of St Barts. They owned a yacht, but she refused to sail on it with her husband, so they used the Queen Elizabeth to travel around Europe and visit relatives back in Holland over Christmas. Being on a cruise is like being in Yorkshire; you can’t stand at a bus stop for more than a few minutes without everyone knowing your ancestry back to the Ark!

After the performance, we strolled to a restaurant at the front of the ship and enjoyed hot cocoa before retiring for the evening. Annoyingly, the clocks go back again tonight, which plays havoc with your body clock and mealtimes.