21st November 2021

Over the past couple of weeks, both Sue and I have been hectically busy. Not a day has passed without Sue dashing off on one of her U3A rambles or group meetings, while I have been tackling all those jobs in the garden that I had successfully been putting off all summer. First, the fir and privet hedge along the drive received a much-needed haircut, quickly followed by the rear garden Leylandii, which underwent a neat trim and severe topping. Over one gruelling week, twelve large builders’ sacks of trimmings were taken to the recycling centre, and a mammoth pile of branches was reduced to eight sacks of logs, now stacked in the greenhouse to dry out over winter.

However, such a late autumn industry came at a cost. My usually reliable hedge trimmers gave up the ghost and had to be replaced with a more powerful and sturdier machine. The wheel on my barrow collapsed under the weight of trimmings and was replaced by a much more robust model from Jewson, while my sliding mitre saw, used to cut logs, expired in a dramatic splutter of sparks and acrid fumes, and was substituted with a second-hand model sourced from eBay. The stress exerted on rarely-used muscles, ligaments, and bones ensured that my ageing body locked into a stiff mode, punctuating my evenings with random bouts of cramp whenever I foolishly attempted to shift into a more comfortable position. Sadly, eBay does not yet offer replacement body parts, not even Amazon!

On 4th November, I received the much-vaunted COVID-19 booster jab. A text arrived at 9:30 pm the previous evening inviting me to book, and I managed to secure a slot just 12 hours later. Sue had to wait another 24 hours for her summons and attended the following day.

It was on the morning of Bonfire Night that I began round two of the ‘put-off’ garden jobs. As the hedging neared completion, I had ordered four tonnes of gravel to replenish the thinning sections of the driveway, which arrived in four large one-tonne builders’ sacks. Eager to test the new wheelbarrow, I set about spreading the fresh pebbles. The last two sacks were completed with the help of ‘volunteer’ Jim, who found the effort an excellent substitute for his daily gym visit. As we worked, Mike (from next door) was busy in the garage pit, working on his Austin Healey, providing some welcome distraction during our frequent ‘rest’ periods.

However, not everything went to plan. As Jim arrived with his two dogs, Shoby raced into the garage to greet me, and promptly disappeared headfirst into the 1.5m deep pit. Fortunately, the ladder must have broken her fall, and she escaped with just a cut lip; it could easily have been far worse!

With the hedges manicured and the driveway refurbished, I turned my attention to the swimming pool. After two years of disuse, it had become something of a liability during lockdown, and rather than spend a small fortune restoring it, I decided it would be more sensible to replace it with a more practical amenity. The precise replacement has yet to be decided, but possibilities include a garden room or pod, office, BBQ area, pizza oven, sauna, hot tub, or perhaps a combination. Whatever form it takes, it should offer year-round enjoyment and add value to the house.

I set about dismantling the pool on a damp morning while Sue was off with her Nature Group, hunting for fungi. Sarah arrived mid-morning and dropped Mia off to keep me company on her way to visit a local farm park with Alice and Charlotte. I had removed the plastic liner the previous day, leaving the metal side panels exposed, and it took three trips to relocate it all to the recycling centre. Before cutting away a small section of the panelling with an angle grinder, I shifted several barrow-loads of sand from the base of the pool, gradually forming a growing pile on the patio. I plan to reuse this sand when it comes time to lay slabs around whatever new structure eventually appears.

Armed with a sledgehammer and pickaxe, I then attacked the concrete collar surrounding the pool. At first, I made encouraging progress, but the concrete soon grew increasingly resistant to my blows. With the rain starting to fall and my enthusiasm waning, I decided to call it a day and took Mia for a much more enjoyable walk instead. Any further dismantling would have to wait until after my much-delayed trip to Holmfirth.

That afternoon, I turned my attention to bottling the wine that had been settling over the past fortnight. In total, the grapes produced 21 litres of red wine and 21 litres of honey-blended rosé. An average year would normally yield around 70 litres, a clear reflection of how little sun and warmth we had over the summer months.

12th November 2021: From an original party of four (myself, Sean, Jim C, and Paul) booked for a long weekend in Holmfirth, staying in Nora Batty’s cottage in the spring of 2019, our group had grown to six with the addition of Jeremy and Jim H. Owing to pandemic restrictions, this was now our fifth attempt at rescheduling. Unfortunately, Nora’s does not sleep six, so I had arranged for the two extra tourists to stay at Bell Cottage, conveniently located just a couple of hundred metres away.

Eagerly, we left Harborough at 10 a.m. in two cars, meeting up for refreshments shortly after leaving the M1 north of Sheffield, before continuing the short distance to Holmfirth. We had lunch and further refreshments at the Elephant and Castle, conveniently situated close to both sets of accommodation. We had driven through drizzle all the way from Leicestershire, but here in Yorkshire, the rain had become much more determined. Consequently, with only a little reluctance, we deviated from our planned itinerary, an orientation walk around Holmfirth’s Heritage Trail, and instead chose to sample a few more northern brews in the warmth and comfort of the pub.

By 3 p.m., with the rain still unrelenting and the gloom descending rapidly, we split into our respective groups and checked into our accommodation. As expected, Nora Batty’s was delightfully stuffed with memorabilia from the TV series Last of the Summer Wine, and it was some time before we ceased hunting out the various photos and props used during filming and settled down to watch England play Canada in the women’s rugby international.

Owing to the steepness and narrowness of the streets, Jeremy and Jim H had some difficulty finding their cottage and got rather wet before successfully locating their less famous, but equally comfortable, lodgings. We all reconvened at 6.30 p.m. in Nora’s before wandering across the street to dine at the Mezze Bar & Restaurant, where we enjoyed what we all agreed was a superb meal that just kept on coming.

We returned to Nora’s in time for further refreshments and to watch the England v Albania football international. By half-time, England were 5–0 up, and the match was no contest, so we switched over to watch the Wales v Fiji rugby international before once again visiting the Elephant and Castle, eventually retiring late to our respective beds.

13th November 2021: Thankfully, the previous day’s rain had departed, and a beautiful sunny morning greeted us. Our group reconvened at 9.30 a.m. for breakfast at the Wrinkled Stocking, conveniently located just next door to Nora’s. After a substantial English breakfast, we made our way to the pavement outside Sid’s Café for 11 a.m., where we joined the Summer Magic — Last of the Summer Wine Tour.

For the next hour, we were entertained aboard a delightful, hand-built charabanc on a 10-mile journey around the locations used in filming the world record-breaking BBC comedy. The tour also incorporated some of the stunning scenery found in the foothills of the Yorkshire Pennines, all vividly described by our driver, Colin.

From bus to foot, our nostalgic journey continued with a ramble, first taking in St. John the Evangelist churchyard to see Bill Owen (Compo) and Peter Sallis’s (Clegg) graves in Upperthong. The graves themselves have been adorned with trinkets and offerings left by fans of the programme. From here, we headed up the steep hillside to admire views of the town below and its surrounding rugged landscape. Making our way through several copses along the summit, we headed towards the small village of Netherthong and our destination for lunch. The Pure North Cider Press is located on the grounds of a 200-year-old farmhouse and contains a small shop and cafe selling a wide variety of ciders brewed on the premises, as well as serving food. Here we sampled all of the brews and had lunch. Overall opinion on the ciders sampled was that few of them were to our liking, most seemed to have weird flavour combinations for a cider, and some were just unpleasant. However, the food was good. We returned to Holmfirth by way of the road.

We reached Nora’s place in time to watch England take on Australia at Twickenham (5.30 pm kick-off). Satisfyingly, the Aussies were beaten 32–15. Afterwards, we ambled over to nearby Poppa Piccolinos for our evening meal. Though primarily an Italian restaurant, I opted for the Malaysian dish of Beef Rendang; the chefs are Malaysian and did not disappoint.

With full stomachs, we moved on to a bar in the town centre. This proved to be a bit of a mistake. Packed with ‘trendy’ locals and blaring loud music, we were forced to shout to hold a conversation. We stayed for just one drink before asking the bouncer at the door to recommend a hostelry more suited to our age and needs, and promptly moved on. Long gone are the days when standing around with a drink, screaming at the top of your voice, seemed in any way cool. With the ringing in our ears slowly fading, we finished the evening comfortably seated in a quiet pub with a fine selection of beers.

14th November 2021: Despite being briefly woken at 6.31 am by a five-second vibration of my bed and a violent rattling of Nora’s precariously displayed crockery on the dresser, we all slept in until nearly 10 am. We met up again at the Wrinkled Stocking for scrambled eggs on toast and lots of coffee. Although Jeremy in Bell Cottage had also been woken by the Yorkshire tectonic plate movement, the rest of our party remained blissfully unaware of the 3.7 magnitude tremor, whose epicentre, according to the internet, was near Ripon.

To refresh ourselves, we took a short, late-morning wander around the town before driving the short distance to Digley Reservoir, nestled within the Peak District National Park and just below the petite Bilberry Reservoir. After parking up, we left Jim H to rest in the car; yesterday’s hike had aggravated his knees, and set off to follow the well-trodden 1.5-mile circular path around the water.

The air was still, allowing the surrounding forest and hills to be perfectly reflected on the reservoir’s mirror-like surface, while a lingering late-morning mist gave the scene a haunting, mysterious beauty. We passed many other hikers and walkers during our circumnavigation, all of whom engaged us in pleasantries, some even in longer conversations. This is Yorkshire, after all, where the locals are famously friendly and inquisitive.

Returning to the cars, we gently woke Jim from a nap and drove to the White Horse Inn at Jackson Bridge, where we enjoyed a very traditional Sunday lunch with the most authentic and tasty Yorkshire puddings you could ever wish for. It was on our itinerary not only for the food, but because it had served as a favourite haunt of the main characters in Last of the Summer Wine, where they would regularly stop for a pint or two in the series.

Returning to Nora’s, the rest of the afternoon and early evening were spent indulging in a wide selection of cheese and crackers, accompanied by copious glasses of wine, and watching yet more rugby on the TV. When all the broadcast sport eventually petered out on the ‘gogglebox’, we made our way to The Nook Brewhouse, just a few steps away.

The Brewhouse stands on a site to the rear of the Nook where a previous brewery, dating back to 1754, once stood. It remains a traditional pub, serving very acceptable beers, many of which we took it upon ourselves to sample. I had attempted to book tickets for ‘Scouting for Girls’ at the nearby Picturedrome for our evening entertainment, but the concert had unfortunately sold out long before. However, by 11 pm, it seemed many concert-goers had decided to finish their evening at The Nook, and we were treated to an impromptu sing-along of songs from the gig.

It was just after midnight when we finally made our way back to our accommodations, and after polishing off the remaining wine from earlier, we eventually crawled into bed around 2 am.

15th November 2021: Curiously, despite our late night, we were all awake, showered, and packed up, ready to leave our cottages by 9 am! It was a lovely touch that the owners of Nora Batty’s had left a complimentary Nora Batty teddy bear for me to take home as a memento.

Half an hour later, we found ourselves sitting in Sid’s Café, so often featured in Last of the Summer Wine. Though a full English breakfast wasn’t officially on the menu, we managed to cajole most of its elements onto the slices of toast we had ordered, ending our stay in suitably hearty fashion.

Stomachs full, we drove a couple of miles to Holmfirth Vineyard, perched on the steep, south-facing hillside overlooking the town. I had booked us a guided tour, and we spent the morning discovering the colourful history of the vineyard, learning about the growing popularity of English wines, and seeing firsthand how they produce their award-winning bottles. Naturally, we finished with a tasting session, sampling their very young White, Rosé, and Red wines. Quite a few of our party were impressed enough to purchase a bottle or two.

We completed our nostalgic saga in Yorkshire with a final chat over coffee, before heading south to Harborough, and back to normality!

The British sitcom Last of the Summer Wine was originally broadcast by the BBC from 1973 to 2010, spanning 31 series, and remains beloved worldwide. It wasn’t surprising, therefore, that no matter what time of day we emerged from Nora’s front door, we were invariably faced with a small crowd of fans, cameras ready, eager to pose against the railings and frontage.

Cheekily, Sean would invite them in for a tour of the property, an offer none ever refused, and it usually fell to me to conduct these awe-struck devotees around. They were all very appreciative, though I couldn’t quite shake one particular Korean couple from the firm belief (sown by Sean) that I was the ‘love child’ of Nora and Howard!

It seems appropriate when summing up this trip to Yorkshire to quote Jeremy: when asked if he had read the itinerary I had sent him, he replied, “No need, as always we will eat too much, drink too much, watch some rugby and you will try to educate us.”
Yep, that about says it all!

The week following our return saw me attacking the demolition of the swimming pool once again with renewed fervour. I’ve decided to substitute my usual morning exercise and bike rides by spending three hours each morning on the task until it is completed, leaving the afternoons free to recover from my exertions, usually by listening to music and inevitably drifting off to sleep.