30th August 2015

On the morning of the 10th of August, Sue whisked the boys off to Corby for a brilliant session of ‘Muddy Play’ at the lake, courtesy of the Council. It was an undeniable success, judging by the state of their wellies afterwards. Meanwhile, I indulged in the glamorous task of weeding, spraying, and pruning at the allotments. (Who needs a spa day when you’ve got bindweed to wrestle?) In the afternoon, we regrouped for a fierce showdown in the garage, battling it out over table football and air hockey. Let’s say the boys were lucky I let them win.

The following day, we found ourselves once again hosting Lucas and Ellis. However, this time, the dynamic duo had the added chaos of the ever-impish Mia, whom Lee had dropped off on his way to work in Northampton. Naturally, the boys spent much of the day escorting an equally excitable puppy on multiple adventures, leaving me to wonder who was walking whom.

On the 12th, I set off to Charlotte’s to tackle the bannisters. Armed with a lump hammer, chisels, and a saw, I soon had them removed and neatly stashed away in Lucas’s bedroom. The next day, I returned to oversee the great furniture migration, watching it all ascend the stairs to its new home in the first-floor lounge. Afterwards, I modified the bannisters to make future removals a doddle, while Sue sensibly escaped to Harborough for coffee with Linda Keene.

Over the following fortnight, Sue and I became regulars at local carpet retailers (looking for a replacement for the lounge), diving into the dizzying world of patterns, piles, and fibres. The sheer number of choices made us question our sanity more than once, but before carpet fatigue fully set in, we settled on one that was thicker, smarter, and blissfully easier to clean. Installation is arranged for September, cue a countdown to a crumb-free future.

On the 15th, we had an early start, taking Lucas and Ellis to London by train. After Family Curry Night, the boys stayed over, allowing us to catch the 7:15 am train from Harborough. Once we arrived at St. Pancras, we set off on foot to Embankment Pier, hopping onto a boat bound for Greenwich. With a Family Rover ticket in hand, we roamed the Thames like seasoned river pirates.

It was during the mid-point of my boat journey when my phone rang with an irate Jamie on the other end. His bank account had been cleaned out, leaving him fuming and flummoxed. Between calming him down and giving advice on the next steps, I managed to ring Suraj to lend Jamie a bit of support. (Full saga details at the end of this blog).

After queuing for the first boat of the morning, we embarked on our downriver adventure with two very excitable little boys in tow. The thrill of being on the Thames was enough to keep them glued to the railings, pointing out landmarks and waving at every passing boat like mini VIPs.

Our first stop was Greenwich Pier, where we disembarked and made a beeline for the Cutty Sark. The boys were captivated by the towering masts and the sheer size of the famous tea clipper, though I suspect they were mostly imagining climbing it like a pirate ship. Afterwards, we explored the Visitor Centre, soaking up tales of maritime glory, before wandering through the majestic buildings of the Old Royal Naval College. The boys may have been less impressed by the architecture than by the echoing acoustics of the grand halls, but we’ll call it a cultural win.

Still full of energy, we returned to the pier to catch our next boat, this time heading to the O2 Arena. The boys could hardly contain their excitement, especially when they realised they’d get another ride on the river, truly the highlight of their day. (And ours, as it meant no complaints of tired legs for at least another hour!)

Before heading into the Dome, we made the most of the sunny weather with a picnic outside. The boys were in their element, tucking into sandwiches and crisps as though they’d been starved for days, while Sue and I kept a watchful eye for opportunistic pigeons.

Once inside, we kicked things off at the Sky Sports Activity Centre. The boys and I decided to channel our inner football stars with a go at taking penalties. Let’s just say it quickly became clear why none of us are destined for the Premier League; our combined success rate was laughable. Though in my defence, I was wearing sandals, which I’m sure didn’t help.

Undeterred, we ventured further up the floors to explore how Sky brings news and sports to our screens. The behind-the-scenes setups were fascinating, even for the boys, who were soon fully engrossed in the various hands-on activities. From pretending to present live news to testing their reflexes in sporty challenges, they tackled it all with the kind of enthusiasm only kids can muster. Meanwhile, Sue and I enjoyed the rare chance to catch our breath and marvel at how quickly they seemed to be wearing themselves out, finally!

Next, we headed to the Nissan Innovation Station, where the boys eagerly put their electronic tags to work. They explored a variety of machines and activities, but it was the racing cars that really stole the show. I wasn’t surprised; they spent most of their time glued to the driving simulators, channelling their inner Lewis Hamiltons. The place was a dream for both kids and adults, packed with interactive exhibits and cutting-edge technology.

I even had my eye on a 15-minute test drive of a Nissan Leaf around the arena. That is, until Sue poured cold water on the idea, claiming we didn’t have the time. A classic “Sue veto,” if ever there was one. Clearly, the future of sustainable motoring is lost on her (Luddite!)

We’d originally planned to cruise further downriver to Arsenal and visit some military museums, but time was against us. Instead, we caught a boat back to Embankment and boarded the 4:15 pm train back to Harborough. Thankfully, it was a direct journey and a quick one, just 50 minutes. Charlotte and Suraj, conveniently shopping in Harborough, drove to Willow Bank to pick up the boys, saving us a final run around. Later that evening, I rounded off the day at the ‘Angel’, watching an encouraging England performance against the French. A pint and a win, perfect.

As for the 18th, the Rothwells went full Red Indian mode. They’d booked a couple of nights in a ‘teepee’ near Hereford, embracing the outdoor lifestyle with gusto. Sue and I had hoped to join them but missed out on the last available tent; clearly, the early bird catches the wigwam. The Rothwells made the most of their stay, canoeing a few times and cooking over an open fire. Charlotte even managed to prepare meals that looked surprisingly edible, though there was some art to venting smoke through the teepee’s top. They returned to Northamptonshire smelling like a barbecue but buzzing from their adventure.

Sue has taken to Saddington Car Boot over the past few Sundays like a magpie to shiny things. She’s out the door so early, I’d barely notice if she left a decoy behind. By the time I wake up and shuffle downstairs, the chalkboard message confirms it: “Gone to Car Boot.” If her bargain-hunting skills at the market are anywhere near as sharp as her prowess on ‘Bargain Hunt’, I’m half-convinced she’s stashing away a small fortune in some secret hiding place.

We’re still regulars at the Odeon Silver Screen, our most recent viewing being ‘The Longest Ride’. A pleasant enough tale of a bull-riding cowboy and his art-loving girlfriend, though I suspect the real tension came from trying to figure out if they’d ever agree on a weekend activity.

The 23rd was Sue’s birthday, and I had a few surprises up my sleeve. She knew we were heading off for a four-day getaway that Saturday, but the destination remained a mystery. Our departure was slightly delayed by Jamie, who appeared just as we were about to leave, requesting garage space to work on his car. Once we finally set off, I drove to the south shore of the Humber Bridge, where we stopped at the viewpoint for a picnic. The weather couldn’t have been better, blue skies and the bridge in all its iconic glory.

After lunch, I revealed the next part of the plan: we were going to walk the bridge. I told Sue it would take about an hour, a statement she greeted with a mix of curiosity and resignation. As we strolled along, we encountered a fair number of walkers and cyclists enjoying the day. Then, at the midpoint of the span, surprise! The Rothwells leapt out from their hiding spot. Sue, completely stunned, took a moment to process the unexpected reunion. They had parked on the north shore and made their way toward us to complete the surprise.

Once Sue had recovered from the shock, we all continued to the north bank together. After saying our goodbyes, the Rothwells retraced their steps along the opposite path to their car, while Sue and I carried on with the next leg of our adventure. A birthday surprise for the books!

Still blissfully unaware of her destination, Sue was met with another surprise when I pulled into Hull and parked at the DeVere Village Hotel. There, the Rothwells reappeared, ready for round two of the birthday celebrations. While they made a splash in the pool and sauna, Sue and I opted for a more leisurely afternoon, mooching around the hotel and relaxing in our room.

Dinner that evening was at the hotel restaurant, where I paced myself carefully to ensure I finished in time for the England v France rugby match in the sports bar. I watched the game alongside Lucas and a few players from the local Hessle Rugby Club, which added a lively edge to the proceedings. Although the match was entertaining enough, my thoughts turned to the Rugby World Cup in September, a tournament I’ve been anticipating all year. Of course, I remain cautiously pessimistic; four years ago, I dodged the disappointment entirely while busy knocking down walls in Bulgaria.

The following morning started with a present opening and a hearty breakfast before Sue’s next surprise arrived, Sarah and Lee! They’d been staying at a nearby hotel and joined us to head off to Bridlington for a proper day at the seaside. It was everything a beach day should be: fish and chips were devoured, sandcastles were constructed, and shells were dutifully collected.

The sandcastle competition quickly escalated, with three radically different and ambitious designs vying for glory. In a modern twist, the winner was to be decided by Facebook “likes,” but, in a shocking turn of events (or possibly a clever ploy to keep the peace), it ended in a three-way tie. Enough said, though I suspect the sandcastle architects were more focused on avoiding a rematch than celebrating their shared victory!

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Returning to the hotel, it was back to the pool and sauna for a relaxing afternoon until it was time for the evening meal. Sarah and Lee joined us, and we all tucked into a delicious dinner before rounding off the night with a darts competition in the hotel bar. Well, the ‘dart’ competition might be more accurate; the bar had only one dart, which turned scoring into a creative exercise. Let’s just say it was more about the laughs than the points!

The following morning, Sarah and Lee joined us again for breakfast before we all set off for a trip to Withernsea. The day started beautifully, though a sea-fog loomed mysteriously just off the coast. We made the most of the beach, collecting stones and playing ‘roll-a-penny’ in the arcade like seasoned seaside pros.

The highlight, quite literally, was climbing to the top of Withernsea Lighthouse, where the views were impressive, at least until that ominous fog decided to roll inland. It transformed what had been a lovely day into something a bit murky and atmospheric, but it didn’t dampen our spirits. After all, a bit of quintessential British weather is practically part of the charm!

The gloom followed us as we drove from Withernsea to Hornsea, making a brief stop at Mappleton for a quick look around. Lunch was a pleasant affair at a café on the promenade, complete with sea views (albeit slightly murky ones), followed by a short walk along the beach. A somewhat challenging climb up the sea wall added a bit of adventure to the afternoon before we headed to the Hornsea Freeport. There, some retail therapy provided a relaxing way to while away the hours, though I suspect the real winners were the shops rather than our wallets.

Back at the hotel, we bid farewell to Sarah and Lee, who had to return home to face the dreaded Monday morning work routine. For us, though, it was one last indulgent dip in the pool and sauna before another satisfying evening meal. We completed up the day with a spot of football in the sports bar, but by then, the combination of good food and relaxation had left us thoroughly stuffed and ready for bed.

After breakfast the next morning, we checked out and headed into Hull’s Old Town with the Rothwells. Parking near Princes Quay Shopping Mall, we made our way to the Tourist Information Centre, the starting point of the famous Seven Seas Fish Trail.

This trail turned out to be a brilliant way to explore the city centre, leading us past fascinating buildings, historical landmarks, and quirky exhibits. The challenge of spotting all the fish carvings along the route kept us engaged and entertained, and we even managed to find every single one, including a few fish we’d never heard of! Victorious, we returned to the Tourist Office to claim our well-earned certificate.

We rounded off the adventure with a casual lunch at Subway before saying our goodbyes, thoroughly impressed by Hull’s charm and a little wistful that our getaway had come to an end.

On the walk back to the cars, we said our goodbyes and enjoyed a smooth, uneventful journey home, a rarity in itself these days!

While summer has been a bit of a no-show, the garden and allotments have soldiered on oblivious, producing a bounty of fruits, vegetables, and, unfortunately, plenty of grass and hedge growth. The pool, however, has been a bit of a diva. Rain brings sand, and sand brings trouble. Despite the cover, it somehow finds its way in, requiring a good hoover to prevent algae from turning the pool into a biology experiment. There’s always something needing attention.

On the 28th, we squeezed in a family BBQ; the weather was just about warm enough to make it feel summery. Unfortunately, Sarah and Lee couldn’t join due to work commitments. The next day, I helped Charlotte at her allotment, tidying up and planting leeks. Afterwards, we headed to the ‘Charters’ for a well-earned drink and were joined by Suraj and the boys, who were fresh from a birthday party and full of sugar-fueled energy.

Fraud Drama:

Remember Jamie’s frantic phone call during our London trip? Turns out, the culprit was an old “friend.” The tale is almost too bizarre to believe. On Thursday, while Sue took the boys to see Jamie’s pet corn snake, she discovered the building’s alarm system was being serviced, leaving all the doors open, including Jamie’s apartment, carelessly left that way by Harley.

This opportunistic “friend” took advantage, strolling in to help himself to a shower, Jamie’s underpants and T-shirts, baseball hat collection, a meal, cash from Harley’s handbag, and, crucially, Jamie’s bank statements. Armed with these, he marched into an HSBC branch in Leicester, posed as Jamie, and convinced a cashier to part with £200. Not satisfied, he returned two hours later to drain the account completely.

Jamie only realised something was wrong on Friday night when his bank card was declined at a petrol station. Checking his account online the next morning, he discovered it was completely empty. The bank admitted fault, refunded his money, and added £300 in compensation. The police, after reviewing CCTV footage in the apartment block, arrested the “friend” days later. It turns out he was already on bail for stealing £6,000 from his mother and assaulting her, along with facing 24 counts of fraud. Quite the criminal résumé!

Jamie is now looking forward to a well-deserved holiday in Spain in three weeks and recently enjoyed a road trip to Weston-super-Mare to visit Banksy’s ‘Dismaland Bemusement Park’.

Sarah, meanwhile, has taken up baking! She proudly produced her first loaf of bread, a milestone deserving applause (and perhaps a bit of butter). Who knows? We might have a star baker in the making!

Charlotte has upgraded her wheels! Her Range Rover has officially bid farewell, and in its place, she’s now cruising around in a Mitsubishi ASX4, which she picked up during a trip to Evesham. A stylish and practical choice, though I can’t help but imagine her missing the Range Rover’s grandeur just a little.

August appears to be the universe’s annual reminder that life admin waits for no one. Between Sue’s and my car insurance renewals, the end of fixed-rate energy tariffs, and broadband contracts expiring, the house was practically bursting with deadlines.

A rare stroke of simplicity, this one. A quick hour on comparison sites proved that staying with our existing insurer was still the best deal. For once, a renewal notice didn’t feel like a cunning trap!

Gas and electricity, however, were a different kettle of fish, or should I say a pit of vipers. Armed with comparison sites, data from EON, and a calculator that I’m convinced started smoking at one point, I spent a dizzying 5.5 hours deciphering rates, standing charges, and exit penalties.

Initially, I chose a fixed one-year tariff with a company called ‘IS’ (yes, that’s their actual name). Just before hitting “Enter,” a niggling doubt made me revisit EON as a “new customer.” Lo and behold, they unveiled the Age UK Fixed 2-Year tariff, a hidden gem available only if I acknowledged my advanced years. It was cheaper, included Tesco Clubcard points, and, frankly, should’ve been advertised to me in the first place. Nice try, EON, but I got there in the end!

As luck would have it, Virgin Media’s marketing leaflet landed in our postbox on a rainy day, perfect timing to save it from its usual destiny in the recycling bin. Coincidentally, BT called to discuss renewing our contract just as the rain stopped. Their opening gambit included price hikes across the board.

Armed with Virgin’s discounted offer for the first six months, I played a game of broadband brinkmanship with the BT rep. After much back and forth (and him likely consulting a few managers), I secured:

• My current package
• No additional charge for BT Sports (forever!)
• A free BT YouView box
• Waived connection fees
• Free Netflix access

Not only am I now paying £10 less than before, but two YouView boxes eventually arrived, one for the lounge and one for the bedroom. BT’s strategy to take on SKY? Let’s just say it’s as chaotic as their logistics department.

Once upon a time, choice wasn’t so much a labyrinth as a straightforward path. We trusted companies, and watchdogs ensured we weren’t fleeced. Now, it seems the tables have turned. Whether it’s rogue bankers walking off with billions or organisations burying fair deals under mountains of fine print, staying financially afloat feels like an extreme sport.

While I’m confident I can hold my own now, I do worry about when I get truly old. Procrastination may have won this August, but how much longer can we keep up the fight to protect every hard-earned pound?